After the Beauty Parlor

Today Sue took me to the Beauty Parlor (and no, I did not get a tattoo.) These are pictures of me after I came home.











Do you like my little pink tongue? Sometimes Sue says, "Oh, you are sooooooooooo cute, you little pinktongue!!" Personally, I think that is a stupid name: "Pinktongue," but she can say whatever she wants.









In this picture Sue asked me to please look cute. So I did.

Boy, those ladies at the Beauty Parlor sure fuss over me!! You'd think they had never seen a puppy before!

Love,
Elvis
p.s. I forgot to tell you that Dr. C, my Vet, said I now weigh forty pounds!

Bored

Hi everybody. This is me, Elvis. Do you know what I am? BIG FAT BORED. That's what I am!! Ever since Sue came home from that hospital things have been different. She used to go out for six mile walks, and take me out for a few miles, but now she's been sitting around for 12 days, and I am BORED.

Don't get me wrong. Aunt Beth was great! And Uncle Mark came to visit too, but they left for Boston and Sue said, "Well, what do we do NOW??" and I thought, "Just sit around being BORED like we have for 12 days. Why would you ask something that stupid??"

SO I am bored. Sue is bored. Corrie is, well, relieved. Everything has been so quiet.
Sue called the beauty shop to get me in. Then I heard her tell Aunt Beth she was going to work on "training me." I can sit and I don't pee in the house. That sounds like "training" to me, but she keeps saying "I cannot have a 90 pound dog who isn't trained." So I think she's sending me to Train School so I can learn how to be an Engineer.

Anyway, I will keep you posted.

When I get back from the beauty parlor I will have Sue send you a picture. In the meantime I will try not to look too bored because I do not want to go to Train School.

Love,
Elvis.

Home From the Hospital

Sue finally came home from the hospital. She was only gone 24 hours, but it seemed like forever!! When she first came home I was very worried about her because she was so quiet!!
Today she seems back to normal, but I can tell she is real tired. She is still letting Aunt Beth take me for walks and out to the "spot."
And speaking of Aunt Beth...






Here she is!! She has taken such good care of me! She calls me "Elvis Pretzel" because there is an ice cream place in St. Louis that has a sundae called "Elvis Pretzel." That is OK with me. I'm just glad she is here.

I'm sure Sue will be back to her old self pretty soon. And then I'll get to go to the hospital on August 25th! I do not think Aunt Beth will be coming back, because I think Sue will take care of me.

I wonder what a hospital is?

Love,
Elvis

Helping and Hurting

Sue says I am a "great help" around the house. I especially like to help with the laundry. When the towels are dry I do exactly what Sue does!! She takes a few out; then I take a few out! She says I need to learn how to fold them, but I do not know what "fold" is so I just do what I know: take the towels out of the dryer.
See?







This is a picture of when I got hurt. Corrie was outside and Sue was playing with me in the family room. When I saw Corrie walk by I ran over to chase her, but guess what??? I ran smack into the glass door!!! I did not even know what a glass door was!! But now I do. Sue thought it was funny and she laughed and laughed. Personally, my feelings were hurt, but two days ago I bit a hole in her good shorts so I guess we are even.





Tomorrow I meet Aunt Beth!! She is coming for two weeks and will help Sue after she goes to the hospital. I feel bad for Sue, but I heard her telling someone that at the end of August I get to go to the hospital too!! So it must be a fun place.
Can you believe how BIG I am?? Tomorrow night Patrick comes to our house to see how Sue and I are doing. I do not think he will wear his good shorts.
Do you??

Love,
Elvis

Chicken

This is Chicken. Sue got him for me a while ago, and even though I have ENOUGH TOYS she has been feeling real bad that it has been too hot to go outside lately.
It's been over one hundred degrees for four days now and I am RAMMY.
So, today, when she was talking to Ruthann on the phone I started barking and Sue just gave in and got Chicken out of the garage for me.
Now, if you think Parrot squawks loudly you should hear CHICKEN!! Not only is he loud, but he looks like Homer Simpson!! (I do not know who Homer Simpson is but I heard Sue tell Ruthann that he looked like him.)
So now you can add one more toy to the Happy Meal contest. But this is an easy one because I just told you his name: CHICKEN. Remember?

love,
Elvis.

Happy Meal Contest

This is Parrot. After Patrick's visit Sue did a "180" in her pack leadership and started "throttling me" by grabbing the scruff of my neck when I was biting.
Needless to say I also did a "180" when Sue started to mean business!! Yipes! Who wants to get throttled by the scruff of their neck???
Anyway, sometimes after she has to throttle me she looks at me and I KNOW she's thinking, "Gee, Elvis, you are the KA -YEW -TEST dog in the world with those sad brown eyes and that little pink tongue that sticks out."
Then, sure enough, when she comes home that night there is a new toy. Personally I think she's gone a little overboard on the toy thing, but I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE this parrot because it makes the most obnoxious SQUAWK when I bite it.



Me biting Parrot. (but look who ELSE is in the picture!! Yep. The ole Pack Leader felt so bad about putting the first Raccoon in the garbage can that she got me another one!! but HE stays in the house...doesn't even go swimming!!)







Here are almost all of my toys!! Sue and I decided to have a contest: Whoever can name all of my toys wins a Happy Meal at the Hummelstown McDonald's. (that means you have to come and visit us in order to claim your prize.)

OK. Good luck with the contest!!!!

Love,

Elvis.

Boot Camp

This is Patrick. And I'm in biiiiiiiig trouble because Sue just signed me up for BOOT CAMP!!!
Patrick is a professional dog trainer by night (and an Engineer by day) and HE MEANS BUSINESS!!
He came out to meet us for an hour and a half consultation tonight and he had quite a bit to say about my bad habits and how Sue has let me get away with MURDER!!!
Basically, I'm sorry to report, the party is over. That would be O*V*E*R.
When he first arrived I treated him just like I do Sue, and at one point when he was disciplining me I BIT A HOLE IN HIS GOOD SHORTS!!!!!! He did not yell at me, and he did not even get mad, but he did look at Sue in disbelief and said, "That little (dog turd) JUST PUT A HOLE IN MY SHORTS!!!!!!!!!
Then he GOT BUSY and put me through a whirlwind of a workout.
I heard him tell Sue "the biting will now stop," and that I will no longer have the "upper hand" (which I thought was strange because I don't even HAVE hands!!)
At one point when Sue was talking to Patrick she started to cry!! She said she felt like she was doing everything wrong and "creating a monster." (Moi? a monster?????)
Patrick was wonderful. He said it was OK if Sue cried. (Patrick is also a Dad and has two little boys!)
So after a long session Sue said to him "I am much smarter than when you first arrived!!" Now THAT makes me nervous, but I know it will be for my own good, and I loved Patrick! By the time he was finished I was sitting at his feet waiting for the next command.
Boot Camp really will start in about a month when I am old enough, but until then Sue has enough "homework" to keep her busy.
I'll keep you posted.
Love,
Elvis

p.s. Just before Patrick pulled in I ran over and grabbed one of the myrtle plants out of the wheelbarrow. I think that is the last time I will be getting away with that kind of thing.
Owell. It was fun while it lasted.

~E.