Boot Camp

This is Patrick. And I'm in biiiiiiiig trouble because Sue just signed me up for BOOT CAMP!!!
Patrick is a professional dog trainer by night (and an Engineer by day) and HE MEANS BUSINESS!!
He came out to meet us for an hour and a half consultation tonight and he had quite a bit to say about my bad habits and how Sue has let me get away with MURDER!!!
Basically, I'm sorry to report, the party is over. That would be O*V*E*R.
When he first arrived I treated him just like I do Sue, and at one point when he was disciplining me I BIT A HOLE IN HIS GOOD SHORTS!!!!!! He did not yell at me, and he did not even get mad, but he did look at Sue in disbelief and said, "That little (dog turd) JUST PUT A HOLE IN MY SHORTS!!!!!!!!!
Then he GOT BUSY and put me through a whirlwind of a workout.
I heard him tell Sue "the biting will now stop," and that I will no longer have the "upper hand" (which I thought was strange because I don't even HAVE hands!!)
At one point when Sue was talking to Patrick she started to cry!! She said she felt like she was doing everything wrong and "creating a monster." (Moi? a monster?????)
Patrick was wonderful. He said it was OK if Sue cried. (Patrick is also a Dad and has two little boys!)
So after a long session Sue said to him "I am much smarter than when you first arrived!!" Now THAT makes me nervous, but I know it will be for my own good, and I loved Patrick! By the time he was finished I was sitting at his feet waiting for the next command.
Boot Camp really will start in about a month when I am old enough, but until then Sue has enough "homework" to keep her busy.
I'll keep you posted.
Love,
Elvis

p.s. Just before Patrick pulled in I ran over and grabbed one of the myrtle plants out of the wheelbarrow. I think that is the last time I will be getting away with that kind of thing.
Owell. It was fun while it lasted.

~E.